Saturday, November 27, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Welcome to the New York Mets, Terry Collins. You have some work to do, and a lot of people who are anxious for you to do it. We hear you're no-nonsense. That's good, because nonsense has been in abundance around here lately. We wish you luck, and will gladly rip you a new one if you mess up on opening day. Here are a few fun facts:
Managed in Houston, 1994-1996
Managed in Anaheim 1997-1999
Has a DUI to his credit (that's not such a fun fact, but you need to know)
A favorite of Paul DePodesta, our new Assistant GM
Let's get going, Terry. We're counting on you.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
- He was given $140 million per year, and produced not a losing team, a DISGRACE of a team.
- He has saddled the team with bad contracts, so much so that the new GM all but says 2011 will be a sacrifice to get out from under Omar's miscues.
- This "talent evaluator" has produced a farm system that ranks in the lower third of all MLB clubs.
- This man will be a constant reminder of everything we are all trying to forget.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Here's how Thanksgiving may play out at the Wilpon residence this year...
"Geez dad, err, Fred, I can't believe all the positive publicity we've been getting from hiring Alderson and the crew in the front office. I've even heard people are calling, asking about ticket packages!". "Yeah, Jeff, it's amazing how a change can do so much for the organization. We haven't even added or subtracted any players yet. Imagine what it'll be like if we move Castillo or Perez."
"Yeah, and if we free up some salary and make one or two addtions, we may even become a real threat in the division. It's a shame we didn't realize this a few years ago, when we held on to Omar and Jerry. Who knew?" "Well, Jeff, it's too bad your uncle Saul wanted to keep those guys around. Probably cost us millions in lost revenue. I never realized how little faith the fans had in those guys, right Saul"? "What do you mean, Fred, you're the one who wanted those putzes to stay, you know, give them a fair shot and all...". "Saul, no, it was't me, it was Jeff who wanted them around". "What? I wanted them out last year!"
Now a food fight ensues, and the Wilpon house is filthy. After order is restored, Jeff continues. "Maybe it's not so important who wanted whom in or out, maybe what's important is that those buffoons are gone. Think about it. We have some real intellect in the front office. We don't have to hold our breath every time we have to put our GM on tv." "Yeah, that was awful, Jeff. What in the world were we thinking! We turned over the keys to a billion dollar enterprise to two guys who could not be more clueless. We lost fans, money....(he rubs his temples). Saul, what do you think"? "I dunno, let's just enjoy the holidays. We REALLY screwed up here. But at least our fans, or most of them, stuck by us. Next time, we may not be so lucky".
"Amen to that. Horrifying thought...Fred, dad, whatever I'm supposed to call you, and Uncle Saul, let's do a shot and vow not to think about the last 4 years." "Agreed, son, to better times!"
They pound a shot of Wild Turkey, and try to move past this awful memory...